Stroke Survivor Diary

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

My Prince Shrek and the babies.

My prince Shrek is from a fictional state. He's from the state of Dorothy and the ruby shoes. Therefore everything about him is fictional. He is a millionaire. So far he has given me 500 babies (stuffed animals). I collect stuffed animals. I like to think of myself as a female Noah. I think so far I have three of each animal. The reason I need to have three of each animal is there is always the danger I have two of the same sex. The most common way of getting new babies is every few days I will find a little baby under a big baby. The most common animal that I have is frogs. Next would be gorillas, penguins and panda bears. I started my Noah's ark with a gorilla named Pongo. Each time I get a new baby I will give them a suitable name and create a story about that animal. I will take them to bed with me the first night I get them. They will then feel like they have someone to belong to. Being a realistic person I realize that I can't expect prince Shrek to buy me new babies because babies cost a lot of money so I choose to get them from a second hand store. I think that way they are pre-loved instead of used. As long as they belong to someone that will love then that is ok. Since Joyce is unable to have a human baby I guess stuffed animals will due. At least they don't need to be potty trained or make messes. I would also say they don't make noise but some of actually do make noise.

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Hi, my name is Joyce. On January 10, 2005 I suffered a stroke. I had not taken my medicine for about two months. I had a feeling something was going to happen. First I started to have vision problems. My cheek felt numb and my words started to slur a little. Just like the first time I had a stroke in 1993. From my first stroke I lost my ability to speak. I forgot the alphabet and knowledge of grammar. I forgot how to pronounce some words and how to spell. I thought I was loosing my mind. However because I am bilingual I still remembered my mother tongue Mandarin. Being unable to communicate for a very talkative person as I am is like a death sentence. Other than my speech my first stroke did not affect me much. I did make a full recovery from my first stroke. I received a treatment at Stanford Hospital similar to angioplasty but on a vessel in the brain. It took about two years to make a full recovery after the procedure.

But this time I wasn't as lucky. This time I lost the ability to walk from the loss of control of my left side. Since the stroke I have been in a wheelchair. It took forever for me to accept the fact that I am handicapped. I was a very outgoing person before the stroke. That morning I woke up and decided to go to work without knowing the severity of the situation. I drove my car and luckily didn't kill anyone but I did have a small accident on the way to work. When I got to work I walked up three flights of stairs without any problems. I thought I had lucked out for the second time. At this time I can still talk although my voice became much grittier. It was harder for people to understand me. I was getting tired of people saying one more time, what did you say or huh. When I first went to the hospital I was OK just a little leaning toward the left and some vision problems.

They checked me into the hospital after a long wait for a room to become available. Over night they told me I had another stroke. I had even got up and went to the bathroom by myself. On the way back to the bed I fell down. All the nurses swarmed over me and yelled at me for walking by myself. Then they put me in bed and tied my hands to the bed. I felt like a prisoner in the hospital. I spent the next I think three weeks in the hospital. I was in several different rooms during my stay at the hospital. They wouldn't transfer me to Stanford. They also stuck a feeding tube down my throat and also they put in a catheter. I yanked them out several times only to have them put back in again.

After about three weeks they transferred me brought me a wheelchair and transferred me to the rehab department of the hospital. The therapists from hell as I liked to call them dropped me on the floor once. They called a male therapist to pick me up and when he picked me up he was grabbing one side of my but cheek with his fingers sticking into my crack. Then I said excuse me I don't know you that well. He then got all flustered and apologized and left. That was my first experience with rehab. I wasn't taught anything just bounced on the floor and picked up.

Then they decided to teach me to drive the wheelchair. This was quite an experience as due to my left neglect I kept bumping into the wall and running over peoples toes. And the squeal they made was like I was killing them. My wheelchair just wanted to have some toes. Anyway people have ten toes they won't miss a few will they? I named my wheelchair Christine after the movie because it has a mind of its own sometimes. I had nothing to do with the running over of the toes.

Don came to visit me ever day and would wheel me all around the hospital. In the hospital Don promised my mom he would take care of me for the rest of my life but I didn't feel this was fair to Don. On March 15, 2005 I was finally released from the rehab center of the hospital. I moved in with Don in an apartment in Sunnyvale near his old apartment. We hired a caregiver from Tonga to take care of me while Don was working. It is understood that I needed to depend on someone else to help me do everything that I used to do all by myself before such as getting dressed, going to the bathroom, taking shower and so on.